HEARTFELT- 7 FOR 17 FROM 16

Hi!!… yes you! Hi! it’s been a minute, how do you do?

I came up with an idea to do a write up titled “16 lessons from 2016 for 2017” and I sort of did only that it didn’t feel genuine, the lessons I wrote felt forced and like something I just put together to sound cool or interesting or whatever and it wasn’t just heartfelt for me so I struggled to post it.

Shame on me for taking this long to write this post considering that I conceived the idea way before Christmas 2016 or maybe the shame is really not on me because I only love to write when I am feeling inspired by something or when it comes straight from my inner being, only then do I think it worthy of sharing.

Continue reading HEARTFELT- 7 FOR 17 FROM 16

#CHEAPSKATE

ANYONE WHO KNOWS ME WELL KNOWS I LOVE TO LOOK GOOD, BOY! DO I LOVE TO LOOK GOOD, IT,S JUST ME , ALTHOUGH I HAVE MY THROW A BIG SWEAT PANTS AND TOP ON DAYS(ACTUALLY I HAVE MANY OF THOSE) BUT BOTTOM LINE IS I LOVE TO LOOK GOOD. BUT HERE IS THE TWIST, I WON’T LOOK GOOD AT ANY COST.

NO! I AM A CHEAPSKATE AND I LOVE TO WEAR VERY AFFORDABLE THINGS AND MAKE THEM LOOK LIKE A MILLION BUCKS.

HENCE, I DECIDED TO RUN A SECTION ON THIS BLOG CALLED #CHEAPSKATE. IT’S BASICALLY ME GIVING YOU DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT CHEAP YET REALLY NICE THINGS YOU COULD BUY.

TO START WITH,

I LOVE AND LOVE AND LOVE THIS JUMPSUIT AND I GOT IT FOR JUST 1,200 NAIRA!!!!

Continue reading #CHEAPSKATE

MIND GAMES- PART 1 ADMIRING DEATH

 

I have searched deeply for something true and hopefully inspiring to write and after a talk with a friend where she shared similar experiences that I had once had, I decided to give a deeper account of a time in my life that I admired death and how I renewed my mind, living for today, planning for tomorrow, joy gushing out of my belly and hope lit in my soul.

Ever felt like a walking dead, ever felt like you couldn’t do anything right, ever felt like the problem you have as a person is being you , felt lack of self motivation, no direction, no purpose, felt like just another body over populating the earth? …..I have

THEY SAY PEOPLE FEAR DEATH, I MUST HAVE BEEN IMMUNIZED

I have never felt like comitting suicide but I have hated living and admired death and at some point it was like I was just hoping and waiting around for such a time when death comes to play. I lost interest in life and living, I constanly asked, what is the point? what it the plan? what is the reason?  of what use is my existence? am i only the result of two humans who decied to have a baby?

I hated and still hate the idea of been ordinary, I was constantly disgusetd by mediocrity but a certain voice kept telling me that’s all I would ever be..nothing.. the voice told me the problem with me is me and why I will never be anything is just for one reason only because I am “ME”.  Alot of times it felt like life was wrapping it’s hands around my neck and slowly squeezing its fingers around it, why was I created? why am I here?  Living was as important as knowing why I was living so soon enough i began to imagine the world without me in it and it didnt seem like a scenerio, one less person in an over-populated world.

Is it that serious you may ask, yes!.. it is!, when the one who has mastered the game of mind begins to whisper in your ears and those words form as wool over your eyes that leads to having a destructive mind? living begins to feel like a burden.

Feeling like I was running at top speed but not going anywhere, I soon tired out and had to find a permanent solution to this, this was no way to live and it was time to find some answers accompanied with hope and peace, whatever it took, wherever it was, I had to find it….

UNAPOLOGETIC

The absence of opportunities that allows for growth and progress sometimes isn’t the problem but rather our fear and the fear of our growth by others.

Why let others intimidate our growth when the sky is big enough for all birds to fly?! Why do I need to tie my wings so that another  feels big while I waste away feeling small.-RED

Continue reading UNAPOLOGETIC

My Social Media Identity Vs My Reality


Hot! Beautiful,happy and definitely about to have some fun …these are a few of the things this picture probably says…well…the reality is far from it but stay with me as I tell you the intriguing story behind these pictures.

Early afternoon of the 1st of November (Sunday), I skipped church that morning so I had longer hours of sleep(I love to sleep btw), I slept enough to get tired of sleeping and I soon got bored,wondering what to do.🤔

I put on some make up, 👄put on some good enough clothes. I got my fill of pictures, must have taken over a hundred pictures, I edited my favorite of the pictures, changed my display picture on bbm.

” Hot!!”

“You’re so beautiful”

” You’re  always having fun and you never invite me”

“I want to be like you 😭”

A few of the comments I received, some even specifically asked me if there was any party or girls day out( I love orchestrating an evening with my female friends)  stating their interest and complimenting my very fun life.

Continue reading My Social Media Identity Vs My Reality

OH MY DAYS!! THIS IS WHAT I DID!

Yesterday,staring at nothing, leaving my body behind as I drifted into different thoughts yet thinking about nothing in particular; various bus drivers rushing to make their morning rounds, school children shouting, arguing and excited about a lot and nothing I know of, everyone keeping to themselves as they are trying to make their way to their morning destination.

A hand tucked in my bra strap that had wiggled it’s way out of the covering of my sleeveless dress and was now resting on my exposed shoulder…

“pfft..why are you touching me“, i thought to myself, refusing to say thank you…

”you know better, you should be nicer”, I said to myself,……

well, it’s just one of those days when your just not in the mood, it’s allowed” I replied

Listening to myself and not content with my excuse, I went ahead to discuss a little more ..

“…you shouldn’t touch strangers just like that, it would have been better if she just said” “excuse me, do you mind if I help you tuck in your strap properly”..that is a better approach”

With my “I killed it” smirk on my face, I “high-five” myself as though I had laid the perfect acceptable excuse for my attitude and not so welcoming manners…still not content I finally gave in..

”yes I should have just said thank you, it was a kind gesture from her heart and she just wanted to be kind, whether or not she did it according to the way I would have wanted her to, she was just being nice” i said to self….

How do I remedy this now….it would be awkward to say thank you after like a couple of tangible minutes had passed……

”hahahaha! Oh you have come again” I said to the voice within,

“yes why not , you love stuff like this” the voice replied

I was a bit reluctant as the inner self suggested to ask her for her number or just ask her to be friends someway …”she will think I am weird, she may think I am gay..do I say jokingly that I am not gay after asking her for her number and to be friends?, she may think I am one witch that has been sent to get at her..you know how Nigerians can just be funny about things”, a couple of other thoughts raced through my mind.

I dug into my bag, pulled out a book and a pen that I bought just before I got on the bus as I felt the need to just have one in my bag….I waited another two or three minutes wondering if I should really go ahead with this,

 “if I don’t do it she will just think of me as a snub on the bus and never really remember me again unless our paths crossed..that won’t be such a bad idea to leave it that way but naa I don’t want that”. i thought again

Just after she finished a short conversation with the guy sitting beside her, I turned slightly to get a good look at her face while I spoke and I started this way.

“You have a nice diction” I said

“sorry ?” she replied, she didn’t hear what i said as a result of me trying to keep my voice low in other not to draw other people’s attention..

” you sound very well, you have a nice diction” I repeated, thinking to myself “what are you saying!!, you don’t even have game, you sound well?…pfft” as though I was a guy…..lol

“oh!, thank you very much”

“do you want to be friends?”…. I am not really sure if that surprised her as she didn’t wear any other expression on her face other than a slight smile…

“where do you work” I asked?

We had a brief conversation and realized we had a few things in common especially concerning her ultimate career goal and work area.

She was pleased with the few shared details and said… “yes we should definitely be friends”, she happily wrote down her number on my book

“Let’s see how the friendship goes” I said smiling,  we said our goodbyes as we went to our different places.

After work hours we spoke on the phone exchanged more contact details and both shared interest in spending our lunch breaks together and this is how I made a friend on the bus.

I got to my destination feeling very happy, with so much joy radiating on my face, I was content with my day if it were to end . I felt accomplished for the day really..lol, I was indeed happy.

Today, making my way down to my destination, I saw an elderly lady across the street, probably in her 50’s  wearing an orange jumpsuit that has “lawma” written on it, doing my happy walk as I was happy for reasons I can’t place my finger on, I crossed to the other side of the road and greeted her in Yoruba with a smile on my face,…she responded smiling back.

“Is it okay if I help you pack the dirt” I asked not really sure if I meant it tho..lol..

“ah! no o! She exclaimed, she had a smile on her face(probably wondering why a sisi(young lady) will be greeting her like she mattered and then offer to help her pack dirt. She was pleased and prayed for me as I went about my day.

Again I was so happy, doing my happy walk.

I guess what I am trying to do is appeal to the good in you, to encourage and ask you that as you go about your day, make the day easier for someone else, care about the people around you and even when you are having a blue day, learn not to take it out on other people and most importantly keep your environment clean, don’t throw stuff on the floor because they might just be an old lady that you are making it harder for her to do her job.

There is so much happiness in helping others and there is so much excitement when you push yourself to do things out of your ordinary everyday life schedule, don’t be a robot.  You will be surprised how making other people smile and feel important will go a long way in making your day a brighter one. I didn’t actually do anything out of the ordinary, anyone can do what I have done, whether you call yourself an introvert, outgoing introvert or whatever, it’s just all about our ability to push ourselves out of our comfort zones.

Learn to carry out random acts of kindness, be humble and never look down on anyone unless you’re helping them up.

So today, tomorrow and the next make some friends, help a stranger, give your food out or share with an homeless person, compliment a stranger, be kind, be nice and also teach someone else to do the same.

Xoxo

This is what I have been battling with for years

I guess for a long time now I have known who and what I wanted to be but I never accepted this simple truth because it didn’t seem fancy enough for a “cool kid” like me… Silly right?…. But it will shock you the number of people experiencing this.

Anyway, Back to me, I have known myself to be a very reliable friend , I have known before I was 10, the undeniable joy i feel simply from helping someone, I have known how to encourage and advice people in my own way even before I knew how to reason. 

I like…actually…… I love to invest in people . I love to help them find themselves  even when I am lost or down or whatever, i am never out of mood for it …at least not yet….lol, …….the ability to find a seed in a person and plant it to bear much fruit?..hmmmm…..Infact being able to admit to this and the thought of it alone brings so much joy to my heart. The feeling when people can confide in me with their deepest worries and secrets and the best is when God gives me the right words to console, encourage, motivate or give them their own aha! Moment, the ability to give a wisdom packed advice that will renew someone’s mind, to be able to speak words that will forever leave a positive print, to be able to give words of strength?!……this is it!…this for me is worth living for. This is where my passion lies.

All of this of course is not by my power but it’s who my creator made me to be, its what I came into this world with and for as long as I have known anything I have wanted to simply be a Helper.

I told some of my friends this and it didn’t sound driven or big enough or great or cool enough, it sounded like something you do with your spare time or for the sake of it but not what you want to be …so I went back into my shell and forgot who I truly am and who I truly want to be, I started forcing my self into different activities hoping to find something that I am really passionate about but nope! nothing at all, I begged God, cried , wondered why I was here on earth, I didn’t want to believe I didn’t have any purpose but the more I struggled to find this purpose the more life was undesirable to me and I started feeling like a walking dead………oh did I search for purpose, ……searching for something that has been there the whole time…. it wasn’t lost so of course there was nothing to find only everything to realize and accept . I don’t even want to elaborate the battle I have been through on this purpose and direction business only to find out it’s been in me all along and I only chose to choose other things.

I will be a couple of things by Gods grace but this is the core of my being and I can finally take a sigh of relief.

Why am I telling the world this you may wonder ? …..Well I want to believe I am not the only one that has been searching for what isn’t lost, not the only one who has refused to accept who they are because it doesn’t sound big enough or cool enough especially in this part of the world were very few career paths are recognized and encouraged  but as God would have it I was thrown to the social science world without my permission and being a social scientist isn’t far from who I always wanted to be .. God is a great planner…. If you are still searching for purpose just look within its there, this is also for whoever feels like their purpose is small or not cool enough, we are the light of the world and our place is on the light stand on a hilltop to shine for the whole world and there is a lot of peace and joy that comes from following and listening to the being within because it is true that it already knows who you are going to be and every thing else is secondary  as quoted by Steve Jobs  . 

Lastly, I am telling the whole world because this is my personal comfort zone challenge and a very big step in accepting who I am and the end of fighting who I am 

I have been asked also how am I going to make ends meet from being a helper ….this my honest answer… I DONT KNOW! 

Will I make a career out of this…I don’t know…..but I know I am about to find out and I am confident In this 

psalm 32:8  I will instruct you, I will teach you the way to go and I will counsel you with my loving eye on you NIV

In other news please follow epiphany_life on IG, the purpose of this account is to post quotes/words for living inspired, motivated and perhaps a little laugh and simple truths about the reality of life.

Also if you ever need anyone to share a problem with. I am a message away, even if you are not a Christian  (no matter how silly, embracing, unbelievable and or  disappointing you might feel it is. You can also share your experiences with me or with the world via my blog) so don’t ever say you don’t have anybody or that you are alone. Also if you just want to be friends..I am also totally down for that.

You don’t have to be alone

 Please know that I am not perfect and I don’t know it all but with God there isn’t anything we can’t achieve.
Also feel free to drop your comments and thoughts here, will really appreciate them.
Xoxo

Red❤️

DIY/HOW TO DYE YOUR NATURAL HAIR 

I will try to make this as brief as possible, yet, very detailed on how I dyed my natural hair without experiencing breakage,shedding or any other type of damage to my hair.

Hair type: 4c

Dye used: Creme of Nature Exotic Shine 10.1

Conditioners: Creme of Nature Intense Conditioning Treatment, Apoghee, Shea moisture deep treatment, Motions  Protein Reconstructor.

Olive Oil

Creme of Nature Sulphate-free Shampoo

Cantu Shea Butter Leave-In-Conditioner

Hitting the nail on the head I ordered my Creme of Nature box dye online for 2,200(naira) and got it two days after I placed my order.

A lot of people are against using box dye for many reasons but I can be a rebel sometimes so I chose to do exactly what so many natural hair bloggers advice against .

The Before

Before dying my hair, I had crochet braids (using xpression multi) on as my protective style for two weeks,before installing my crochet braids, I washed and deep conditioned my hair using olive oil, Shea moisture deep treatment and banana. I also trimmed my weak ends, so my hair was in a decent condition.

I was kinda confused if i should wash my hair or not to, after a lot of research on both sides I decided not to wash my hair before dying it as my hair was due for a wash but it wasn’t too dirty, it was just somewhere in between and that was fine by me.

Continue reading DIY/HOW TO DYE YOUR NATURAL HAIR 

I had more faith as a Child….. then I met Religion  

Your mistakes do not disqualify you from calling out to God, if anything at all,it qualifies you, let me further explain using my own experience .

First of all, Do you know that the meaning of Jesus in Hebrew is “yeshua”which simply means “savior” and you can agree with me that the primary responsibility and function of a savior is to save and if you don’t need saving then you don’t need a savior.

So you see that you are in fact most qualified when you make mistakes, feel guilty, feel defeated, lost, depressed,oppressed, or if for any reason at all you need saving, then you are perfect and most qualified to run to Christ.

You also are not disqualified if you don’t pray regularly or go to church(this doesn’t belittle the power of prayer and reading the bible)….little story to back that up .

I am a Christian from a Muslim background and due to my fathers liberal style we weren’t forced to be Muslims or anything else,we simply were allowed some choices and religion was one.

I vividly remember hearing a lot about Jesus just as much as I heard of Mohammed, but for some reason I always wondered about this Jesus I heard of, somewhere in my young nine year old heart I knew I had to meet this Jesus, I wondered how beautiful he would be, how happy and kind,only that the rules I was hearing he had for his followers were over whelming and I wasn’t sure I could be good enough for him, perhaps when I am older and I know I will never ever sin or maybe I could deny that I didn’t hear of him until I was old these I thought as a child(hehehehe,mischievous me)…………..I kept thinking about him, always wanting to associate myself with him, kept having recurring dreams about him literally saving me from battles in the spiritual realm and so on.

I guess what I am trying to explain is, even before I really understood anything about Christ, before I confessed him to be my personal Lord and Savior, I had great faith in him, as a young girl I didn’t know his word as I wasn’t from a Christian home and I attended church maybe 3 times or less in an entire year, I had no Sunday school trainings so I was pretty much illiterate, I didn’t even know praise and worship songs outside the ones we sang in school and the popular ones that make it to the TVor Radio, but, I felt very enough despite this.

 I grew older and I attended a lot more services, made several conscious effort to study the word, be good, be acceptable and it always felt like I was fighting a war that I had already lost before even starting, I tried and tried and tried to look, feel, act, talk in a manner that would make me acceptable and righteous but I just got frustrated and gave up on my journey because I believed it wasn’t for someone like me,….I had to be good to run to Christ, I had to be right to run to Christ, I had to be righteous and my efforts were seriously failing me.                                “Jesus should just do him and let me do me” I said to my friend Chibuzor  as he tried to encourage me in my journey,now I was 19. I forgot that as a child all I had to simply do was have faith, trust and obey, I forgot going to church or reading his word was simply to get to know more about this Jesus I so heard of and get to know myself as well, lol, or maybe I wasn’t actually taught this but instead I was told “be good first then Christ next”.

English Standard Version

…….. “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.-Matthew 18:3

How is it that I had more faith as a child , how is it that I was so confident of Gods protection that little scared me . I guess I stopped having the heart of a child towards my Heavenly Father ,perhaps I was too used  to being a human that the idea of grace sounded too good to be true,sounded unfair and one sided.

…..Grace is only grace when it is undeserved,unearned and unmerited-Joseph Prince.

I forgot to take up the rest offered on a platter of Christ and let my father do the planning, providing, protecting and much more as I did with my parents when I was a child. I got used to earning and having to be deserving for good things.

How can a simple sorry be enough for the creator of heaven and earth?How can he pay for my future sins billion and billion of years before I was born?…all too good to be true, but it’s easy to believe that I am a sinner because of Adams sin but a constant battle within me  to come to terms with the fact that a greater Adam(Jesus) came,took up my sins and made me righteous.

Over the years I guess I wasn’t equipped with  real gospel truth and now that the knowledge of this simple truth is within, I am constantly renewing my mind to the fact that in this relationship with God there needs to be only one adult and one child and any day anytime I’ll rather be the child.

This article was birth after praying to write a true mind freeing, wisdom packed article and being inspired to read just the forward in the book ” Destined to reign” by Joseph Prince.

I hope the message is clear and helps you to renew your mind.
Xoxo

HOW DO WE REPROGRAM 55 YEARS OF SELF DESTRUCTION?

What are Nigerians celebrating?, What do they really have to celebrate? How is it even humanly possible to celebrate in a failed country as such, a country that is self destructing, a country so rich, yet its people, so poor, a country who has redefined the definition of corruption, a country of a high level of insecurity, a country that is not fighting the sun, or the ocean or the ground isn’t trying to shake them off the surface of the earth, a country where it’s only and biggest problem is its inhabitants.. all these and more we may question and wonder.
I tell you, it beats me, we are merry making people, if it’s impossible for people to be depressed, not promised a future or even tomorrow and be happy at the same time, well you haven’t been to Nigeria but ill tell you what, how about celebrating every Nigerian that makes living a little or a lot better for others, how about we celebrate the millions of Nigerians who keep trying to try, who keep fighting to be better even when it’s their own that keeps hitting them down, how about we salute everyone who holds their head up as proud Nigerians, though we seem to have nothing to be proud of according to the larger worlds standard, how about we celebrate all those who are or trying to be law abiding citizens without any encouragement from its country or people . Yes, most are suffering and smiling but how about we commend the courage to smile through all the pain. If you have ever had pain and constant failure challenging you every day then you might understand what it takes to find some hope and faith to keep smiling.
How do we reprogram 55years of self-destruction? …I wish I had the right answer to this, but I can tell you this much, we won’t get better only by better leadership, we will get better also by better followership, while the new sheriff tries to battle corruption amongst others we too must in ourselves battle the habits of lawlessness and abandoning our civil responsibilities… also, as we sing proudly “One Nigeria” today, let’s remember that before we are Igbos, Hausas, Yorubas and the other well over 200 ethnic groups, before we are Christians or Muslims, we are first humans then Nigerians.

….to serve with love and strength and faith….

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